Darn it ! Disaster struck at the weekend - I smoked !

I could almost feel it coming on Thursday night. I didn'tmake up my mind to smoke the but I did on Friday.

It's strange, I know it was the nicotine talking but I felt in full control, rather than it being a relapse (which I suppose it was).

I decided to buys some beers and smokes telling myself that it was the weekend and it was time to relax.

I felt guilty (a little bit but not that much) but I did enjoy the sense of freedom again and not caring.

Anyway, I'm off the ciggies again from today. I'll have to get through that nicotine urge barrier again but it wasn't too difficult last week in the end.

The biggest obstacle I now see is getting past a weekend. These have always traditionally been a couple of days of feeling carefree and doing whatever I choose.

Hmmm... I'm thinking about what I can do to overcome that weekend feeling.

Any ideas ?

Do I really need to quit drinking as well as cigarettes ?

Well, the nico urge aint too bad now but the beer urge is more like a SURGE. I feel desperate to get lagered up !

I don't know what all the fuss is about binge drinking, I think it's the only enjoyable way to drink :) Afterall, there's not much point in a single pint unless you're feeling thirsty. You need a minimum of 4 to make it worhwhile.

Anyway, I'm beginning to fantasize now ! It's Friday tomorrow which would usually have meant beers and fags. Not this weekend. Tomorrow I'm thrashing it out in my bedroom with my old weights - at least that's the plan.

Saturday will be another test because the outlaws are coming round :(

I haven't got a lot to look forward to this weekend really.

Day 4, no smoking and feelin' fine.

Managed to last yesterday evening. It was my toughest test os far.

I woke up feeling pretty good, no nicotine urge so far. I have aching kidneys though ! I guess this is because I'm off the beers and my body is yearning for some because it usually gets 4 pints worth of strong lager every night.

Sorry kidney beans, you'll just have to wait for a while.

I'm off to work, thanks for reading.

Well, I've almost made it past my 1st day back at work without smoking

Almost !

I say this because I am currently stuck on a platform having missed my train thanks to the London Underground.

Still, I'm adoptiong an old fashioned stiff upper lip approach as I mumble "don't let the ba$t@rds grind you down" in my head.

When I get back I will be having a boring salad rather than the usual 4/5 pint cans of Stella nd 7 or so fags (that's cigarettes if you're American !)

Then I'm going straight to bed because I have the urge to smoke in a big way and I just need to get over the next few days whatever it takes.

I found this little gem quit inspiring...

A little something to remind myself, the cash I have saved and how much healthier I will be - although I'm more interested in the cash ! :)

http://www.quitsmokingcounter.com

No stress at work yet and further thoughts on why I want to quit smoking.

Well, the working day has been tolerable so far, quite easy in fact. I'm writing this on my mobile in the toilet at work. Yes, even my bowels are moving again so there's no good reason to nip out and buy some smokes ! Horray.

I have been reading some other people's attempts to give up on websites and blogs online (I will try to remember to post the inspiring ones I find).

Some guy struck a cord with me. He said he didn't want to look like other smokers he saw.

Wierd and very hypocritical but that's how I feel too !

They say the best and worst of people smoke. I tend to focus on the worst and to be frank I don't want to be pigeon holed with them ! They probably think the same about me :)

Anyway, I've added it as another mental note of reasons to give up for good.

I'm feeling ok right now, I'm definitely in that slightly blurry surreal bubble of no nicotine slow motion. It's a bit unusual but nothing unmanageable, I just feel a bit dopey. There must be quite a few people feeling like this just after New Year.

Strewth, I'm getting the nicotine lust big time this morning.

I'm holding out, just about. I could really use a smoke this morning though.

Today is the 1st 'normal' working day for me. I'm having to make some fairly big changes to my routine to steer clear of the weed.

I would usually have spent 15 minutes, a cup or 2 of tea and a couple of 'tabs' in the garden by now (my routine of the last 5 or so years.

Instead, I have spent the morning on some paper work and had some toast. I never usually bother with breakfast and I don't think I will continue with this toast in the morning business. It just seems to have added to how constipated I feel ! Grrr....

My next challenge awaits at work and whether or not I'll have some difficult characters to deal with.

I have successfully navigated New Years Day.

Well I'm feeling reasonably pleased with myself. I thought about smoking a couple of times today but resisted the temptation.

All I did was tell myself I don't actually smoke anymore and the urge seemed to pass.

The only downside so far is I'm a bit constipated, hopefully that too will soon pass :)

Good night.

Day 1 - it starts here !

I saw on the telly the other day that about 1 million people in the UK will try to give up smoking today and that 750,000 of them will be smoking again within a week.

I find this extremely compelling and it's further hardened my resolve. I like to think I have a bit of willpower and here's my chance to show it. I'm damned sure I can make it past a week (providing I don't drink).

I'm staying off the beers too, just to be sure.

Anyway, it's day 1 and everything is going ok so far. I don't have too much of an urge to smoke, it's there in the background but not too strong. I gave up on New Year's Eve so I'm kind of a day ahead of schedule. I did notice how I ate more than usual yesterday which I think was replacement for the smokes, hopefully this will ease up a bit.

The only downside is I feel slightly constipated today but I'm topping up on sugary tea which usually does the business for me :)

Happy New Year !