Darn it ! Disaster struck at the weekend - I smoked !

I could almost feel it coming on Thursday night. I didn'tmake up my mind to smoke the but I did on Friday.

It's strange, I know it was the nicotine talking but I felt in full control, rather than it being a relapse (which I suppose it was).

I decided to buys some beers and smokes telling myself that it was the weekend and it was time to relax.

I felt guilty (a little bit but not that much) but I did enjoy the sense of freedom again and not caring.

Anyway, I'm off the ciggies again from today. I'll have to get through that nicotine urge barrier again but it wasn't too difficult last week in the end.

The biggest obstacle I now see is getting past a weekend. These have always traditionally been a couple of days of feeling carefree and doing whatever I choose.

Hmmm... I'm thinking about what I can do to overcome that weekend feeling.

Any ideas ?

Do I really need to quit drinking as well as cigarettes ?

Well, the nico urge aint too bad now but the beer urge is more like a SURGE. I feel desperate to get lagered up !

I don't know what all the fuss is about binge drinking, I think it's the only enjoyable way to drink :) Afterall, there's not much point in a single pint unless you're feeling thirsty. You need a minimum of 4 to make it worhwhile.

Anyway, I'm beginning to fantasize now ! It's Friday tomorrow which would usually have meant beers and fags. Not this weekend. Tomorrow I'm thrashing it out in my bedroom with my old weights - at least that's the plan.

Saturday will be another test because the outlaws are coming round :(

I haven't got a lot to look forward to this weekend really.

Day 4, no smoking and feelin' fine.

Managed to last yesterday evening. It was my toughest test os far.

I woke up feeling pretty good, no nicotine urge so far. I have aching kidneys though ! I guess this is because I'm off the beers and my body is yearning for some because it usually gets 4 pints worth of strong lager every night.

Sorry kidney beans, you'll just have to wait for a while.

I'm off to work, thanks for reading.

Well, I've almost made it past my 1st day back at work without smoking

Almost !

I say this because I am currently stuck on a platform having missed my train thanks to the London Underground.

Still, I'm adoptiong an old fashioned stiff upper lip approach as I mumble "don't let the ba$t@rds grind you down" in my head.

When I get back I will be having a boring salad rather than the usual 4/5 pint cans of Stella nd 7 or so fags (that's cigarettes if you're American !)

Then I'm going straight to bed because I have the urge to smoke in a big way and I just need to get over the next few days whatever it takes.